How many times have you psyched yourself out? Whether it is out of something big or small? How many times? Honestly. I think we talk ourselves more out of situations than anyone else can. Thoughts such as "I can't" "I'm never going too" "I wish I would do that" "I've always wanted to do that but" "Now is not the right time" "I will after this" .....and on and on and on and on and on and.
One day I was driving home, listening to Tank classics (such as 'Close', 'She Got Me Saying, When We, and etc), day dreaming, and talking to myself out loud. One form of my "ME time" might I add. During this drive, I began to talk to myself about where I am in life and how in this season I have been approached by many opportunities for growth, in which I do accept, the ones that benefit me. I do believe that you should not be a YES woman to all opportunities, everything is not for you. But let's get back on topic, shall we? As I was driving home, dodging potholes left and right, and singing off key, but sounding good to myself...I began to wonder......am I ready for these opportunities?
I began to say to myself.. "Yes, I have been asking for what is now in front of me, but wait am I ready?" "What if I don't say the right things?" "What if my message is not executed clearly as it sounds in my head?" " What if I am not prepared?" "Well maybe I shouldn't even do it" "There will be other opportunities, maybe this just isn't the right time." Again going on and on and on!
I finally realized that I had to calm myself down, dial back on my anxiety, and take a few deep breathes! I then realized that I am allowing fear to speak on my behalf, giving it a bigger voice than my faith in myself, purpose, and abilities. I realized that these opportunities are coming to me for a reason in this season! "Everything happens for a reason", is that not the saying?
The saying is not that "everything happens for a reason....and you're going to understand it all times and be prepared." Sometimes the reason you endured a season, an opportunity, or a lesson from a situation does not reveal itself until after it is over.
So stick it out, grind it out, continue to embrace opportunities that may scare you to go after; it maybe an opportunity that is necessary for you to tackle to prepare you for what is to come next on your journey! It is here for a reason, at this time....have faith in yourself, your abilities, and do not allow fear and self doubt to speak louder than your faith.
Here are a few ways to speak and reaffirm positive light and self reassurance into your mind and life that I do on a daily basis.
Especially on the days when fear and self doubt are trying to knock me off my game, because those days do happen, trust me.
1. Remind yourself to focus on the bigger picture, everyday.
A lot of times when we encounter road blocks, set backs, even failure; we begin to second guess if what we are doing is even worth it. Yes. It. Is. Worth. It.
If you remember the bigger picture of your journey that set back, those detours will eventually seem minor because you know your are going towards something bigger and greater than what is happening now! Yes they will still hurt, but turn those set backs into fuel for you to go even harder and focus on why you started in the first place!
I am writing this to encourage others, as well as myself, to not allow fear to do the talking for you. Yes you may not feel ready, but still keep going, say yes to things that scare you.Yes you may fall, but get up and try again. Say your goals out loud and speak them into existence! Focusing on the bigger picture will help you to see that these set backs and road blocks are lessons to learn from. I like to think of set backs and detours on our journey as periods for us to learn and grow from. As opportunities to increase our strength, resilience, and mold our character in order for us to be prepared for next victory that is to come!
2. Say your elevator pitch out loud in the mirror.
Listen, first impressions and encounters are everything! What do you want people to remember about you after they first meet you? For me, I want people to remember my name and our conversation, so they'll want to follow up and continue to engage with me afterwards. The first two things people notice when they see you is, what you are wearing, and your skin color. This is inevitable. I would like to add a third to that list. I like to think that people notice how and if you can hold a conversation and are actively listening. 9 out of 10 times when I am out people ask my name and what I do.....and then BOOM! That is my time, to "sell myself". I am always sure to make eye contact, speak clearly, and not to ramble. This is where the practice of saying my pitch in the mirror comes into play.
I will be honest this is a work in progress for me, however, I am actively working on it. I make it a goal to attend two networking events monthly solo and to engage with at least 5 people that I do not know. It helps me to practice my communication, learn from my errors, meet new people, and tell people who I am and what I am working on.
3. Write it into existence!
I don't know about everyone else, but man do I love me some post its. Love! I am a pen and paper type! I write my favorite quotes and positive words on post its and place them in my planner or in my 'notes' section on my phone. I haven't always done this but since I started it has been a game changer. Writing positive affirmations down brings them to life. Give it a try! I have post its that say things life "work on becoming the best version of yourself" "you are your only competition" "weird to the world but unique to me" "strive for greatness" "give a 100% daily" and etc. We are more prone to give our attention to negative aspects, so why not write down some positives that can fuel your fire and redirect your attention and energy?
Have you ever looked at the definition of 'wellness'? Wellness is the active process of becoming aware and making choices towards a healthy and fulfilling life. Keywords in that definition to me are active and choices. Life is all about choices. You can make the choice to to allow fear to speak for you, or you can choose to be active and take charge of your journey and speak over yourself. Be your biggest cheerleader, #1 fan, and encourage yourself. Speak positive about yourself and your abilities to become the best version of yourself and embrace where you are in your journey; even if you do not fully understand "the why". Trust your process and get familiar with being uncomfortable because that means you are growing!
As I've mentioned in previous posts, (read more: www.soulhealthchronicles.com/blogs) Soul Health Chronicles blog serves as a reminder to constantly work on becoming the best version of yourself, because you are your only competition! I truly believe this! I write posts that millennial women can relate too and have a movement centered on empowering, motivating, and encouraging individuals on their health and wellness journey (learn more: www.soulhealthchronicles.com).
As always, work on becoming the best version of yourself. You are your only competition!
Shawnte’, the creator of Soul Health Chronicles is a workout lover and blogger. She is inspired by health and wellness journeys and wanted to create a platform for them to be highlighted and celebrated. She encourages people to work on becoming the best version of yourself and serves as a reminder that you are your only competition!
Learn more and connect with Shawnte’ at www.soulhealthchronicles.com